ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She told me I should be a condom model.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
