I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
