yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
