He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
