She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
