2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
