She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
