Kiss
Puke
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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