i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize