I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
