i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
