i would punch a child for taco bell
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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