my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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