Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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