Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
