the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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