I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
