But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You work out of a Hotel?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
