his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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