New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
