We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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