last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
