Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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