i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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