You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
