Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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