I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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