If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
