I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How does one acquire holy water?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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