I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
