Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
