She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
