feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she looked like the before picture.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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