don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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