Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
