Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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