Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
