i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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