This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
