you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am naked and annoyed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
