i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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