the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
