Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
