I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
