I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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