There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
