Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
