I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
