Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
