I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
