I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
