I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
